the reasons...

Sometimes, when i have a problem. Its very hard for me to jux let it out to you. ive tried so many times trying to seek consoles from you but alot of times the words-it jux dint came out right. and i do get more pissed. Its really frustrating to hear you saying: "cut it short" wheareas you already know that i always explained things in super detailed. and its jux the way i tell my stories and i would definitely felt better after that but no. That is why i usually skip my day's problem or stories becox of this reasons and i know there are times that you are not interested to hear about it. I jux need some listening ears and i wanted it so badly that the person would be you who would listen to all of my craps.

Somehow, i do understand that no one wants to hear the same old stories over and over again. and i do understand that everybody have a problem of their own which is why i rather listen to your day's stories or happenings. Or to make me feel better and forget about my problems, i will do other things like watching tv or surf the net... and its not the best thing to do either cox you will eventually fall asleep and im missing out on your voice......

But today....

im very very happy to hear you saying how much you miss my naggings and you listen to all of my craps...
i really appreciate it...
you made my day...
muackz!

the sweetest thing i ever hear frm anyone!

@1100hrs

he: you know what i was missing?
she: what.
he: suddenly i miss ur nagging. i miss all ur naggings, naggings, nagging! i miss everything about you!
she: =D

I really miss the late night talks...
late night craps...
and i miss hearing your voice..

why do i always need to give you calls but you always miss..
the fact that i already know that ure asleep..
but i still keep on waiting to hear ur voice before i sleep..

one day you make me laugh like crazy and entertain me when we meet,
you always got busy the next day and the day after that..
everyday, i hope to meet you soon cox only then that i can feel..
the love...

i miss you dear...
i really do..
and needing so much or ur attention..

=(

two movies back to back, but the climax or the movie is not as what i expect it to be...

past and presents...

year 2009,August... How long have i not be coming in here?? How come so much had changed that i never remember what ive last complained about.

i love my love life as it is rite now. The person ive always complained about almost never exist anymore.

He that i know today is..
Very loving, caring, sharing, understanding... always giving in to everything, giving so much attention that i foresee myself as being too pampered and dependant on him.

Most of the time he is jux playing kites with me- im getting all the attention today and suddenly he got super busy the next day. which really drives me crazy of cox! but it definitely makes the love glows cox he make me miss him like crazy.

thank you for taking me out to the gym which i love it except that we have no time to go for a swim....
i hope you like your bodyshop that i bought for you.
puasa pon lagi bape ari.. kena ingat, this is our year 1 as fiance/fiancee... soon the day will come that we raye together.. hehhe insyaallah.. =D

seriously, i keep looking at ikea furnitures and home appliances and my mind starts to wonder how our future house would be =D are excited as i am??

ouh yah, about tadi, u shud know by now why i keep wanting u to hv the things i got for u & family frm terrenganu?? its becox of the chelsea jersey. opps i spill the beans cox i cannot stand it already!! arghh..so please take the stuff home.. please dear...

ok gtg..

remember..
always together..

take care of yourself when your working especially... i always have you in mind.. and ure the only one i would love to rant about and i always need u to be my listening ears.... even though alot of time ive been repeat telecasting and bable too much but i hope you can stand me complains frm work and hm and all....

love u muackz...

i dont even know why im being so bad. i couldnt lie to my feelings. its jux empty. i feel far from you. i made myself too much worries and now when it all hit me, im avoiding it. i felt like dec is a long wait. i felt like ive waited too long. for everything. from 1999 to 2004 to dec 2008 and 2010 is even further to be waiting for. suddenly im sick and tired of all the waitings. and when i tried to forget about all the waitings, it seems like i put everything behind and make myself to ease. and i realise that by doing that, it seems like ive put u aside too.

i used to be getting all excited about meeting ur family, about engagement about the house and about marriage. but now, i dunno what's happening. all the excitement somehow disappear. i know you would have hate me by now. i could only blame myself.

sometimes when i have a problem, i couldnt bring myself to talk to u. i jux keep it to myself. sometimes when i tried talking to u, the right words dint come out from you.

im really tired rite now. i almost have no heart rite now. i dont want to stay up any longer. my day had been already a bad one. i couldnt cheer my self up and i make your days worst.

you called up to say that you dont want to meet me and ask me what im doing. i said, "im jux staring at a blank space"

and you said, "yah, you're just a blank girl.."

im dumb. period.

dearest sweetheart,

thanks for everything. now that i have you, i wish my dreams will come true for the day. i love you i miss you. im really sorry to cause you the trouble today dear... i m really sorry.. thanks for sending me to work dear.. i needed that. thanks for everything dear... hope to meet u soon... muackz.


love, your sweetpie.